Bill pulled up Youtube. "Now What?"
"Look up Granger, Bigfoot, North Carolina. It shouldn't be that hard to find." Replied Jim.
It was easily found. They found a video of Jason and Jackson Granger jumping up and down, whooping,
and sayin', "we is the greatest Bigfoot hunters in the world, we shot the Bigfoot that was terrorizin' our
town. We'll be sellin' it for $50,000. It's frozen and well preserved. Not ta worry, they is more out there.
We is available fer hire for Bigfoot huntin' expeditions." They exclaimed.
"Oh shit! Bill, we'd better show this to Bob. I think things have really taken a turn fer the worst." Said Jim.
"I hope this is bullshit and they don't really have a Bigfoot body. Aunt Sylvie will have a fit." Jim thought
Sheriff Bob shook his head. The town was full of men dressed in camouflage. He also saw a truck with a
sign that read, "Bigfoot Research and Protection Society." There were protesters outside the Garb and
Dash holding up signs protesting all hunting and killing of animals. The deputies had been trying to keep
the hunters and anti-hunters from killing each other.
"Shit! These folks are nuts. Old man Peterson called me and said that those research fellers was
trespassin' on his property, puttin' out bait and settin' up tree cameras. He said that now he's got bears
roamin' his property and gittin' into his garbage. Jim, Bill go find those Research idiots and tell'em to stay
off folk's property and stop puttin' out bait. All they're doin' is attractin' bears and we have enough
problems with'em without added help." Sighed Sheriff Bob.
Deputy Jim hung up the phone. "We've got more trouble. According to the scuttlebutt at the cafe, some
dude named Diamond Jim Brogan from Vegas is comin' to Spooks Cove with his TV crew and will be
payin' the Granger Brothers for the carcass. He plans to stuff it and tour the country with it.
"Well, it's about time I visited the Granger Brothers and took a look at this so-called Bigfoot body. I want
to make sure this ain't some gorilla suit in a freezer before this fool from Vegas shows up and makes a
stink. Jim, you come with me. Bill, stay here and man the phones." Signed Sheriff Bob.
They drove up a winding dirt road and pulled into the yard of the Granger Cabin. Deputy Jim stepped out
of the car and surveyed the area. There were three rusted cars sitting on concrete blocks that some
chickens were happily nesting inside. The roof of the porch was sagging badly and looked one
snowstorm away from caving in. The yard was littered with beer cans and shotgun shells. Jim shook his
head. "Bob, this place has sure gone to Hell since them boy's Ma died."
Sheriff Bob sighed, "Them boys are a torn in my side. If'en they would stay up here, I wouldn't care about
their moonshinin', but every weekend they just hafta get drunk and start fights at Jasper's Pool Hall. I'm
tired of arrestin' them on Saturdays and lettin' them go on Mondays. I think they do it for the free meals."
About that time, Jackson Granger came out of the cabin. He was holding a beer can and looked a little
unsteady on his feet. It was 2:00 in the afternoon. "What you want sheriff?" He asked.
"Howdy Jack, where's Jason?" Asked Sheriff Bob.
"He went into Asheville to pick up some supplies, we was nearly out of filet mignon and lobster." Jack
"Well, Jack, we saw yore Youtube videos and want ta take a look at this so-called Bigfoot body." Sheriff
"Unless ya got $50,000 or a search warrant, I don't have ta show you shit." Answered Jack.
"In that case, Jack, I might take a look at those plants ya got growing in the back of the house. They sure
do look mighty healthy." Sheriff Bob smiled.
Jackson Granger paled a bit, "Ok sheriff, the body's in a freezer here on the porch, ya can take a look."
On the porch was a large open top freezer. Jack lifted the lid and said "here it is, but don't touch. That
guy from Vegas said we need to prevent contamination."
In the freezer was a frozen brown body. It looked as if many bags of ice had been used to cover it. The
body wasn't clearly visible, except around the stomach area. Deputy Jim leaned down for a closer look.
"I see some entrails coming out this thing's belly."
"That's right, we had to shoot the thing a coupla times to kill it. The innards came out. Right disgustin'."
Sheriff Bob leaned down for a closer look and caught a whiff of rot smell. "Damn that stinks. Well, thank
ya kindly fer the look, give my regards to yore brother."
As they drove off, Sheriff Bob turned to Deputy Jim and said "What'd ya think?"
Jim laughed. "Them entrails was way too small to be human, let alone a 7 ta 8 foot tall Bigfoot. I'd say
they was from a 'possum or raccoon."
"I agree, I bet that's nothin' more than a gorilla suit in that ice. But, I can't do nothing until someone is
dumb enough to buy it and then file a complaint with me." Replied Sheriff Bob.
For the next couple of weeks, the Spooks Cove Sheriff department was kept busy responding to calls
about trespassers on people's property and Vegan groups protesting hunting in front of the Grab and
Dash. One Vegan group blockaded the doors of the Mountain Cookin' Cafe when the cafe had half price
Barbeque ribs night. Their leader, known only as Reverend Earth, was shouting through a megaphone
that killing animals was murder. Sheriff Bob told them they could protest all they want, but if they
blocked the doors, he would shoot them. They quickly moved across the street. Farmers were also
complaining that someone was tearing down their barbwire fences and letting their cows escape.
Sheriff Bob popped a couple of aspirin. "The Bigfoot hunters and researchers are annoying enough, but
do these anti-hunting, anti-meat groups think they can harass poor mountain folk and change them into
vegetarians. Why don't they go back to the city and harass the 99.9% of the restaurants there that serve
meat. Why don't they harass Wal-mart, they sell guns and ammo."
Deputy Bill, put down the phone. "Bob, that Vegas feller, Brogan, is in town. He's callin' a press
conference for 5:00 today. Says he's got an important announcement to make."
"I hope to god, he's goin' say it's a hoax and everybody will go home! Well, folks, let's go out and deal
with the media circus." Sighed Sheriff Bob.
The press conference was set up beside the Grab and Dash. There was a microphone set up for
Diamond Jim Brogan. There were news trucks from Asheville, Charlotte, Knoxsville, and CNN from
Atlanta. CNN was going to carry the news conference live.
"I don't have a good feelin' about this. Why would CNN be here if this was just a couple of drunk
rednecks with a gorilla costume in a freezer. Somethin's goin' on and I don't like it one bit." Said Deputy
"I hope yore wrong, but I don't like the looks of that feller. He's really slick, kinda like a used car
salesman." Replied Deputy Bill.
Diamond Jim Brogan approached the microphone. He was dressed in a three piece suit with a bollo tie.
He had large silver and turquoise rings on several fingers. "Hello folks, I have an announcement that
will change history. For many, many years people have reported seeing big, hairy humanoids that
science has ridiculed and said doesn't exist. But, I'm here to say Bigfoot does exist. I have the proof. I
have seen the body, touched it, and smelled it. I have purchased the body from Jason and Jackson
Granger for $50,000. As we speak, the freezer containing the body is being moved to a secret location I
have rented nearby. After the body is thawed, it will be examined by scientists and anthropologists.
That's all I can say for now."
As the reporters were yelling out questions, Deputy Jim turned to Deputy Bill, "Brogan is either the
biggest fool on the face of the earth or he's part of the hoax. It'll be interesting how it plays out from
here. Our biggest problem is now we're ground zero for Bigfoot hunters.
Diamond Jim Brogan approached the deputies followed by a another short, geeky looking fellow with a
"Howdy officers, I'm Jim Brogan and this is my administrative assistant, Harold Greely. We're sure happy
you're here to help keep things under control. This is an historic day for Spooks Cove and Bigfoot
believers everywhere. You can tell your grandkids you were here when Bigfoot was discovered. Excuse
me, I have much to do." Jim Brogan walked into the crowd of reporters smiling and telling all what an
important scientific discovery he had made.
Harold Greely gave a wane smile. "I'm really sorry for the circus that has disrupted your town. I've heard
about the protesters and the vandalism done to area farms. Hopefully, we can get out here soon and let
your lives get back to normal." He followed after Diamond Jim Brogan.
"Hmmmm.......that's not a happy feller. His mood doesn't seem to match being part of the find of the
century. Bill, when you git back to the office, Google this feller Brogan." Mused Deputy Jim.
"Uh oh, this ain't good. I found a lot about this Jim Brogan feller. A coupla years ago he claimed he
discovered an honest-to-God Chupracubra. He put it on exhibit in Las Vegas until some scientists said
it was nothin' but a coyote with mange. Then last year, he said he had the bones of Champ, the Lake
Champlain monster. It turned out to be cow bones. People in the cryptozoological field claim he is a
fraud and a joke. This ain't good!" Stated Deputy Bill.
"Why am I not surprised?" Deputy Jim leaned back in his chair. The phone rang. "Hello Sheriff's office."
"Hi there love of my life, I was just calling with some interesting information."
"Hi Jessie love, what's the poop at the cafe?" Replied Deputy Jim.
"That Harold Greely feller is here. He's had quite a few Jack and cokes and he's quite maudlin'. Anything
you want me to do?" Asked Jessie May.
"Ain't that interesting? Jessie May, I want you to serve him some coffee, flirt with him, be sympathetic,
and pump him for as much information as you can."
"It's all fer a good cause. You're as good a law enforcement officer as any of us here. Better even. I'll
see ya later at Aunt Sylvie's fer supper. I'm going to be late, Sheriff Bob is at Harry Truman Smith's place.
Harry claims there's Hippies, led by this Reverend Earth, smokin' weed and blessin' Harry's garden."
It was after dark when Jim finally was able to leave the sheriff's office. He was driving up the road to
Aunt Sylvie's thinking to himself all events of the past few days. "I'll be so glad when that Brogan
character and Bigfoot body is out of here for good. I'm tired of the drama, protesters, and vandalism. Not
to mention the kooks!" He came around a curve and saw, in his headlights, a large figure standing by
the side of the road. The figure ran across the road in front of his car. Jim slammed on the brakes and
skidded sideways in the road. He got a good look at it in his headlights. "No way in Hell!" He shook his
head trying to comprehend what he saw. It was at least 7 foot in height, had shaggy brown hair, and was
running upright on two legs. It wasn't a bear, he knew that for sure. "It was a guy in a gorilla suit, that
has to be it. But, Aunt Sylvie is the only one who lives out this way. Who would be pullin' a hoax out
here..............? Oh Hell!" He righted the car and headed the rest of the way to Aunt Sylvie's place.
"Oh, Jimmy, you're just in time. Aunt Sylvie is just finishin' cookin' her apple and sage chicken. Jimmy,
what's the matter, yore pale as a ghost?" Jessie May said concerned.
"Here boy, have some strawberry wine. Jessie May's right, ya look like a hoard of banshees was after
ya." Aunt Sylvie said kindly.
"I saw somethin' on the road." Jim said as he took the glass of wine from Aunt Sylvie. "I don't believe it,
but, I saw it clear as day in my headlights. It was real tall, covered from head to foot in hair, and ran on
two legs. It was no bear. I don't care what anybody says, bears don't run on two legs." He gulped down
"Well, I told ya so. Mr. Bigfoot has been around here and you just saw him. I'm glad to hear he's up here
and not down where all them hunters are. I've been puttin' out apples to keep him up here. But, I don't
know whether it's him or bears and 'coons takin' the apples." Said Aunt Sylvie.
"Oh no, I didn't see a Bigfoot! I couldn't have, they don't exist..............." Jim shook his head. "I
surrender, you win, Aunt Sylvie. Lord knows I've seen too much in these mountains to disbelieve
Aunt Sylvie snickered and walked to the stove to check on the chicken. "I'm goin' to serve the
dandelion greens salad soon. Ya got your choice of Ranch or French dressin'."
Jessie May sat down opposite Jim with a big grin on her face. "I've got some information that should
cheer you up. There was a certain drunk assistant that got quite chatty with me. Want to hear about it?"
"Damn straight I do, what ya got for me?" Jim leaned forward.